Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Global Warming and the Penguins of Doom

So, I found this article:

It seems that the break-up of huge icebergs has fostered penguin evolution.

Now, I have heard from the global warming crowd that global warming is responsible for things like this. And the thaw from the ice age, is of course the ultimate global warming. But this forced penguins to live together despite their differences. And it made penguins what they are today.

Everyone loves Penguins...but would you love them if they had evolved differently? Using the same type of science that proves global warming, I advance a theory.

Without the break-up of the large icebergs, we would have a different penguin...a penguin of horror.

Large birds, capable of flight on their razor wings. Lovecraftian horrors that move silently and without mercy. Preying upon humanity in a feast of blood. Our children would weep at the pengiuns sonic shrill cry (oh..they've got one), and humanity would turn against each other. We would offer our friends to satisfy the dark penguin lords.

We would have heros, men and women resisting the Tuxedo'd might of DOOM. But one by one they would fall. We would sing their stories until the diamond hard beaks of the 2o foot robot war penguins silenced our hope.

Then, they would develop the device...a time device. Using their unholy technology they would go back in time and wipe out humanity. In their Hubris they eliminate their own food supply, rendering the world devoid of all life.

OH...we would have had polar bear allies that we rode into battle.

Rejoice, global warming has saved us all from the cruel flipper of horror.

For those who don't know me, I believe in evolution. This is a knock at Global Warming.

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